My generation…

So, as ever after any family-orientated event (no, I didn’t go home at Easter to visit my atheist/pagan parents, they were camping in gale-force winds, as is their wont), and after being asked to move at church so a family could sit together, I have a quick look on internet dating sites.


Goodness me.


If I wanted to date gentleman who were 20-30 years older than me who use their conservatory as a selling point, then I’d be delighted right now. As it is, I wonder the feminist gentlemen are, who see women as people rather than as breeding-enabled accessories.


Profile after profile of gentlemen my age or older had ‘looking for a woman under 30’ somewhere in the profile.


Some things are fundamentally wrong with this. I am angry, so I’ll bullet point.


  • Women are people. They have personality, vitality and worth, in and of themselves. This is not adversely affected by age or child-bearing ability.


  • Men are people. If they only want to date women 10 – 20 years younger than them, then they come across as creepy people, at this point, no lady wishes to date them.


  • Ovaries do have a sell by date. The person surrounding the ovaries has a much longer life-span, and is worth more than the sum of their fertile years.


  • Gentlemen, if you want unlimited access to unfertilised eggs you may have to consider poultry farming. If that doesn’t appeal, maybe you could reflect on the nature of ageing. You, like women, will get older. Women have this news thrust at them relentlessly. The media may not convey this to you adequately, instead focussing on attractive older gentleman dating young ladies of nubile persuasion. These older gentlemen, by coincidence, are all fabulously wealthy and mostly film or rock stars. They do not live in Barnet.


  • A 35 year age gap makes you older than my dad. No I don’t want to go lawn bowling with you, but thank you for the invitation.


  •  Thank you for indicating that you would not like to go on a date with me. I note your comments, but would take issue with your summary of me as ‘only having a few years left.’ As far as I am aware, women do not spontaneously combust at the age of 40.


  • No, I don’t think that the Lord has selected me to obey you and serve you. I think you may have mistaken me for a gumtree advert for a housekeeper. (And the answer would still be no).

If anyone wants me I shall be rearranging feminist literature and crocheting myself an allergen-free cat.


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